Skip navigation

Share

What I Learned About Building a Social Circle From Scratch cover image

What I Learned About Building a Social Circle From Scratch

Starting over in a new city taught me that friendship isn’t about instant chemistry—it’s about showing up, again and again. 💫 Here’s how I found connection in a city full of strangers — and one app that actually helped

What do you do when no one in your city knows your name — or your favorite snack?

That was me, newly moved to Bangalore, standing in the snack aisle of a grocery store for the third time that week. The clerk had started recognizing me. No one else had.

No spontaneous “what are you doing tonight?” texts. No group chats buzzing with plans. Just me, a half-unpacked suitcase, and the quiet hum of a city that didn’t even know I’d arrived.

I thought making friends as an adult would be easy. I’ve always been social — curious, open, good at striking up a chat. But when you’re dropped into a place where no one knows you, even asking someone to get coffee feels like auditioning for a role in someone else’s life.

The loneliness wasn’t dramatic. Just… constant. Like background noise that never really turned off.

Rebuilding from Scratch

Nobody tells you how humbling it is to rebuild your social life from the ground up.

You realize how much of your identity was shaped by the people around you — your go-to dinner friends, your late-night “you up?” people, your no-words-needed companions. When all of that vanishes, the question hits harder than you expect:
Who am I when there’s no one around to reflect me back to myself?

At first, I waited. Maybe I’d meet someone at work. Or the gym. Or at that book club I kept saying I’d join “next month.”

Spoiler: nothing happened.

So I turned to the apps.

Bumble BFF? Conversations that died before they began.
Meetup? Huge groups, lots of surface-level chatter — but no one I’d text the next day.
Random Reddit WhatsApp groups? Ghosted, flaked, or straight-up weird vibes.

I didn’t want to swipe through bios. I didn’t want to “network.”
I just wanted to do stuff I liked with people who liked it too — and maybe, if it felt right, do it again.

The Low Point (and the Scroll That Changed It)

One night, after another weekend of solo plans and screen time, I actually Googled: “Is it normal to feel this lonely in a new city?” Apparently, yes. Didn’t make it suck any less.

And then, while doom-scrolling Reddit, someone casually mentioned an app called Moment — like, “Anyone in Bangalore using Moment to meet people IRL?”

Curious (and out of options), I downloaded it.

How Moment Changed Things

Moment wasn’t about curated profiles or endless swiping. It was about joining or creating real-life activities with people nearby who just… wanted to connect.

You didn’t have to chat for days before making a plan. You didn’t have to be charming in DMs. You could literally see a local plan — rooftop gig, board game night, chai in Cubbon Park — and just show up.

The first Moment I joined was a casual “art jam” in the park. I almost bailed (classic me), but something about the vibe felt low-pressure. Come if you want. No small talk required.

I sat under a tree doodling while people trickled in with sketchbooks and snacks. We didn’t even exchange numbers that day — just shared stories, playlists, and lazy conversation as the sun set.

And somehow, that was enough.

It wasn’t a miracle fix. But it gave me something I hadn’t felt in weeks: momentum.

Learning to Reach Out Again

Moving to a new city had made me independent. But I didn’t notice how quickly that turned into isolation. I got really good at doing everything alone. Grocery runs. Café workdays. Movies, dinners, long walks — all solo. It felt efficient. Even empowering. Until it didn’t. At some point, I realized I wasn’t being strong. I was just scared — of bothering people. Of rejection. Of being the only one who cared.

What Moment gave me was a way to practice reaching out again. To join something without overthinking. To say “yes” more often — even if I wasn’t sure anyone would remember my name the next day. And little by little, I started forming real connections.

The chai meetup where I argued about 90s Bollywood with a stranger who’s now my weekly chai buddy. The rooftop gig where I met someone who’d also just moved and was equally lost. The morning poha-jalebi HSR walk group that now feels like a mini ritual.

What I Know Now

Making friends as an adult isn’t about being outgoing. It’s about showing up — again and again — even when it feels awkward.

It’s about sending the message. Following up. Asking someone to hang out even when your brain screams, “What if they think you’re weird?”

And most of all, it’s about choosing to stay open — to people, to plans, to possibility.

Apps didn’t fix my loneliness. But Moment helped me take the smallest first step: doing something I already loved — with someone new. That’s all it took.

Now, Bangalore doesn’t just feel like a place I moved to. It feels like mine.

Want to feel less alone in your city? Download Moment and go to that first chai meetup. It might just change everything.


Parul Seth Parul Seth
May 25, 2025

Related

How to Make Friends as a Grown Man

How to Make Friends as a Grown Man

We researched the "How" and tailored our app to help you follow every one of them


Team Moment Team Moment
June 15, 2025
How to Practice Reaching Out for Friendship

How to Practice Reaching Out for Friendship

Moment's easy framework to starting reaching out for new friendships again


Team Moment Team Moment
June 8, 2025
Why Social Isolation Happens After Relocation

Why Social Isolation Happens After Relocation

Loss of people who mirror you after relocation can cause Social Isolation and how you can help yourself and others


Parul Seth Parul Seth
June 1, 2025
Follow on Twitter

Connect with new people over a common interest, passion or goal nearby. Life's more fun when you create moments! Download the Moment app.

Social

© 2023 Moment App. All rights reserved.

Crafted with empathy